A&W Puts Pants On Bear Mascot To Escape M&M ‘Spokescandies’ Outcry

Contrary to their nature, M&M’s ‘spokescandies’ are melting in the hands of the public. Mars was driven to place an indefinite hiatus on its characters in promotional campaigns after the candy-coated chocolates became self-aware and developed their own personalities, banding together to hallmark a spectrum of diversity and inclusivity. The idea of brand characters becoming “woke” left a bitter taste in some people’s mouths, who were evidently still peeved by the replacement of Green’s heels with sneakers.

Perhaps hoping to avoid a similar outcry, A&W Restaurants has announced that Rooty the Great Root Bear will forevermore be wearing denim jeans. The cartoon bear has spent the last six decades serving as the fast-food chain’s mascot without pants, and without shame.

“America, let’s talk,” A&W starts off its statement, echoing the structure of M&M’s announcement. “Since 1963, Rooty the Great Root Bear has been our beloved spokesbear. We knew people would notice because he’s literally a six-foot tall bear wearing an orange sweater.”

A&W goes on to say that it expects an underdressed bear “can be polarizing,” as well, so it has decided that Rooty will be wearing jeans from now on.

Anticipating fears that Rooty might be suspended from his role too, on the, ahem, heels of M&M’s spokecandies, A&W reassures fans that he will still “remain our official spokesbear.”

“After all, he is un-bear-ably cute and im-paw-ssible to replace,” asserts A&W. “We are confident Rooty will continue to champion good food and good times for many years to come… now in denim.”

Accompanying the company’s statement is an image of Rooty 2.0, who is now clothed from head-to-almost-toe in an orange hat and shirt with blue jeans.

A message from A&W. pic.twitter.com/WGdF12TSyg

— A&W Restaurants (@awrestaurants) January 24, 2023

For good times’ sake, here’s Rooty living his best, “polarizing,” half-naked self:

last-minute halloween costume idea 🐻 pic.twitter.com/3cUK26wfqP

— A&W Restaurants (@awrestaurants) October 29, 2022

The makeover may or may not be the spark of a rebellion against other cartoon characters who have gone pants-free for years. Will Winnie-the-Pooh, whose entrance in the public domain has inspired some absurd reimaginations, be pictured in pantaloons moving forward? As for Donald Duck—have some decency.

[via Fox Business and A&W, images via various sources]