PETA Invents Alternatives For ‘Cruel’ Phrases Like ‘Bring Home The Bacon’
By Mikelle Leow, 05 Dec 2018
Image via Shutterstock
Holy cow. Reminiscent of a recent campaign to replace the spelling for “women” with “womxn,” People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) wants to take over the English language by killing commonly-used phrases that are apparently demeaning to the animal kingdom.
Proving that it would never hurt a fly, PETA has coined a handful of politically-correct, “animal-friendly” idioms to replace “phrases that trivialize animal cruelty.”
You don’t bring home the bacon, it argues. You bring home the bagels. Further, birds shouldn’t be killed with one stone, but fed with one scone.
Understandably, these newfangled suggestions are really getting people’s goats.
“So what you’re saying is there’s more than one way to skin a cat?” asks Twitter user Peter Cook.
“Don’t put all your kale in one strainer,” jokes Vince Coglianese, Editorial Director at The Daily Caller.
Check out PETA’s recommended phrases below. There’s really no harm in using them interchangeably, but just as meat-lovers might find it annoying for vegans to shove their beliefs in others’ faces, there shouldn’t be the pressure to go cold turkey on the traditional idioms.
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Words matter, and as our understanding of social justice evolves, our language evolves along with it. Just as it became unacceptable to use racist, homophobic, or ableist language, phrases that trivialize cruelty to animals will vanish as more people begin to appreciate animals for who they are and start ‘bringing home the bagels’ instead of the bacon.
A post shared by PETA (@peta) on
So what you're saying is...there's more than one way to skin a cat?https://t.co/rKc3xpNRNv— Peter Cook (@_Peter_Cook) December 4, 2018
Why would anyone grab a flower by its thorns?!?! https://t.co/fVi5VYuiaA— Ian McLaren (@iancmclaren) December 4, 2018
Wouldn’t feeding a fed horse be more detrimental to the animal than beating an already deceased one? 🤔 https://t.co/KtRQzpxMO9— Phil Hughes (@PJHughes45) December 4, 2018
What a load of fallen leaves. https://t.co/Mbw0CRq7qW— Andrew R (@ExcelPope) December 4, 2018
"feed two birds with one scone" has broken my brain i'm going to die laughing https://t.co/dYj9UrYhAx— julia reinstein 🚡 (@juliareinstein) December 4, 2018
"bring home the bagels" has potential— j.r. hennessy (@jrhennessy) December 4, 2018
Curiosity thrilled the cat! https://t.co/eAySyiwLQl— Jesse Hawken (@jessehawken) December 4, 2018
Don’t put all your kale in one strainer. https://t.co/vzij5UkyNe— Vince Coglianese (@TheDCVince) December 4, 2018
I can think of no better way to describe this tweet than to say PETA has jumped the shark. https://t.co/muAwVWretN— MarcyJMiller (@MarcyJMiller) December 4, 2018
[via Twitter Moments, images via various sources]
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