‘Sperm Extractor’ Takes Your Hands Off Masturbation By Mimicking Human Vagina
By Yimin Huang, 12 Apr 2019
Image via Sky Xu / Sanwe
Just when you thought you have seen enough strange inventions on this planet, there are always more to come—no pun intended. Sanwe, a Chinese medical equipment manufacturer in Xuzhou, Jiangsu province, has developed the ‘SW-3701 Trolley Type Sperm Collector’, intended to help hospitals and clinics collect sperm from donors without having them to feel awkward about masturbation.
According to Sanwe, the product promises two therapeutic functions: “ejaculation therapy” and “premature ejaculation desensitization training.”
To encourage ejaculation, the machine is able to simulate the sensations of a vagina, as well as perform massages, twitch, suck, vibrate, and more.
The second setting, “premature ejaculation desensitization training,” elicits “strong currents” that rub the glans penis in a repeated motion to “reduce the excitability” of nerve endings. You get the picture.
Internet responses to the wild invention have been nothing short of entertaining. One Twitter user questions the intention behind the machine.
I’d like to see the Venn diagram that shows the donors who are “reluctant to masturbate in a hospital setting” - but willing to stick their dicks into that hungry machine.— Brian Malow (@sciencecomedian) April 9, 2019
Other users have expressed their incredulity with a bunch of emojis, wordplay and film references, including a Trump GIF that serves as a fitting response.
Wow!!! 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/X5fOxOeA83— AngryMan (@AngryManTV) April 5, 2019
This is how humanity falls pic.twitter.com/HLu8EhNnkR— Bone-kun (@0Bonekun0) April 7, 2019
If you build it, they will come.— Voysov Reason 🌎 (@VoysovReason) April 9, 2019
Worst episode of Love, Death, and Robots.— Clint Weathers (@zenrhino) April 9, 2019
The product is currently priced at US$4,999 to US$5,999 on Chinese marketplace Alibaba, in case you are interested to give it a try.
[via NextShark, cover image via Sky Xu]
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