Heinz has spilled what it claims to be the world’s first ketchup insurance policy, specifically designed to tackle painful splatters and splotches that come with enjoying its iconic condiment.
Meant for clients in the UAE, the Heinz Ketchup Insurance promises to transform the dread of ketchup mishaps into opportunities for joy and convenience with an array of compensatory rewards. The saucy scheme covers 57 types of ketchup-related calamities, from the classic stain on your favorite shirt to toddler-administered incidents.
Backing this innovative policy is research showing that despite the occasional mess, a whopping 91% of Heinz’s fans believe the culinary delight is well worth the cleanup. To make good on its promise, the brand is offering coverage in the form of practical services like home cleaning, handyman services, and laundry assistance, as well as more luxurious rewards like spa treatments, all accessible via the employee benefits app MyBenefits in the Middle East.
Those curious if they qualify can head over to HeinzKetchupInsurance.com, where they can also file a claim.
The site lists some wild scenarios that the plan acknowledges, from “Cupid’s Curse,” where a claimant’s jilted lover has used Heinz ketchup as a tool of sabotage, to “The Whodunnit,” where the applicant has found a spot of ketchup but not the culprit, and “Murphy’s Law,” highlighting those improbable but all-too-real moments when ketchup finds its way onto the only white part of an outfit. Like real insurance, Heinz’s version indemnifies you for accidents you probably never thought would occur.